A glimpse into the life of a Parallel Parents Foster Carer- Vol 2

Fostering a Legacy of Love: A Glimpse into Cheryl's World

Welcome back to the second edition of our series! We recently had the incredible pleasure of sitting down with Cheryl, one of Parallel Parents’ most dedicated carers. Stepping into her warm, bustling home, it was immediately clear that fostering hasn't just changed her life, it has enriched it in many ways.

The moment I entered, I could immediately feel her commitment to creating a genuine, warm environment for her foster children. She took great pride in showing me the downstairs playroom, excitedly describing how her three current children love to be in there. The room, brimming with dolls and accessories, simply oozed happiness, making it easy to imagine the joyful chaos they must create. Even in the main living room, there was a charming little bookshelf and a reading corner where Cheryl has shared so many loving moments with the children who have been with her.

Who is Cheryl?

Since July 2018, Cheryl has been a foster carer with Parallel Parents. Over the past seven years, she has poured her energy and compassion into providing a loving environment for 15 children, as well as offering vital respite care for other local carers. Her experience is wide, supporting everyone from tiny babies to adolescents, and even taking on the unique responsibility of mother and baby placements.

I was keen to understand what first moved Cheryl to take this incredible leap into fostering, and what the journey has really been like over this seven-year commitment. 

Read on to hear about her genuine motivations, the most profound lessons she's learned, and the rewarding moments that make every challenging day worthwhile.

Why Cheryl Embraced Fostering

Cheryl's journey to becoming a foster carer wasn't planned, although it was something she had thought about previously; it was born from an act of profound compassion. Her path began when she opened her heart and her home to a struggling young mother and her newborn baby.

Witnessing firsthand the overwhelming difficulties this young woman faced, Cheryl didn't hesitate. She recognized a deep need and stepped in, welcoming them both into her life. For months, Cheryl became their anchor, offering guidance and support as they navigated difficult challenges. She nurtured them until the mother felt stable and strong enough to confidently transition with her baby into a home of their own.

The moment they moved on, secure and ready for their next chapter, the intense, personal fulfillment Cheryl felt was undeniable. This wasn't just helping; it was finding a true calling. Driven by a desire to make an impact for other vulnerable young mums and their infants, Cheryl decided she wanted to continue helping others. She researched her options of how she could dedicate herself to this work, which led her directly to Parallel Parents. It was here that she started her incredible fostering journey. 

The Unexpected Journey

Within a month of being approved, Cheryl was asked to temporarily take in a young mum and her five-month-old son. They stayed for 42 days before moving to their long-term placement, destined for adoption.

Just over a month later, she was offered a teenage mum and baby, but the move didn't go ahead. Eager to help, Cheryl was then asked to consider a 17-year-old girl. This was a turning point. Though she had initially only considered parent and baby placements, her desire to support the lives of children and teenagers in need took over. Cheryl agreed and welcomed the young lady, supporting her and preparing her for adulthood. She stayed for just over four months before moving back to her birth mum. Cheryl still keeps in touch with her and enjoys receiving updates; she is now 24 years old.

Three weeks later, Cheryl’s social worker asked if she would consider fostering young siblings on a short-term placement. Missing the "buzz" of young children, Cheryl happily accepted, welcoming in a five-year-old, a two-year-old, and a baby. They stayed for over five months before returning to their birth family.

Cheryl has since continued fostering young children and has seen many wonderful children move onto adoption or return to their birth family. Today, Cheryl is the stable anchor for three siblings who have been with her for over four years. Now aged 9, 8, and 7, they share a wonderful, loving connection with her, and the plan is for them to stay long-term into adulthood.

A Two-Pillar Support System

I asked Cheryl “What do Parallel Parents, and the Yorkshire East team do to ensure you are supported?”

Cheryl finds the support from her team to be incredible, stemming from both the professional relationship with her social worker and the peer support network of other foster carers.

Cheryl highly values her relationship with her social worker, Emma. She describes Emma's support as consistently available and deeply personal. Emma is always "just a phone call away," providing professional backing when times get hard or challenging. This commitment extends beyond paperwork; Emma shows genuine involvement in the children's lives, attending their shows and even watching them swim—"little things," Cheryl notes, that reinforce the stability and care provided by Parallel Parents, and which the children love because they get to show off their improvements!

Cheryl also benefits immensely from the local network of other foster carers in the area. She helps the team by planning and organising Foster Carer meals and coffee mornings. She explains that having these regular catch-ups is "so beneficial" for all the carers involved. The foster carers in her area have grown into a "big family," emphasising the strong sense of community. They actively support each other when needed and even plan days out together, creating a reliable system of peer encouragement and relief.

Always keen to learn, Cheryl proudly completed her NVQ through Parallel Parents. She proactively seeks out training whenever new challenges or behaviours arise, ensuring she can be the best carer possible, even, in her words, "at her older age." She finds the training productive and essential for continual professional growth.

Tackling Difficulties 

I asked Cheryl “Have you faced many difficulties or challenges whilst fostering?”

Fostering is not without its difficulties, but Cheryl tackles all challenges head-on, seeking ways to learn from every experience.

Recounting a time when she cared for a child who often bit her, Cheryl quickly realized that challenging behaviours stem from a child's previous experiences. She focuses on helping children understand right from wrong, acknowledging that this process takes time and can be exhausting—but the rewards of seeing a child grow and begin to heal are truly captivating.

Cheryl also mentioned that seeing some of the children move on to adoption often makes her feel a little sad. Every child's outcome is different, and while she is thrilled for the child to be moving onto their permanent family, she often finds herself feeling the natural sadness that comes with saying goodbye to someone you love.

The Family Effect

I asked Cheryl “How has your family adjusted to fostering?”

One of the most heartwarming aspects of Cheryl’s journey is how beautifully her own family has integrated into the fostering experience. When Cheryl first started fostering her son was 25 years old and still living at home. However they haven't just accepted the change; they love being part of it, visiting often and actively building genuine relationships with the children in her care. Cheryl is certain that in the future her son will also foster, as he has such a caring side to him, and is a fantastic dad! 

Cheryl tells me how you will often find her grandchild sitting with one of the foster children, either captivated by a children's programme on the TV or giggling as they play together in the playroom. This seamless, natural blending of family life creates a crucial sense of security and normalcy for the children.

The depth of these connections is truly evident in the words the children use. They naturally call Cheryl "Nanny" and extend that affection to her father, whom they call "Grandad." These special titles show just how much they view Cheryl's home as a complete and loving family unit.

The impact Cheryl makes is permanent, extending far beyond the duration of a placement. She speaks with pride about the fact her foster children still call her Nanny, even years after moving on. Three of her former foster children, who have since been adopted, maintain regular contact. They never forget her, faithfully sending her presents every birthday and Christmas. During our conversation, Cheryl's face positively beamed with pride as she showed me the beautiful candle and plant she had recently received from them—a powerful testament to the care and love she offers.

Cheryl's Final Advice

Cheryl's advice to anyone considering fostering is simple: “Fostering is not easy, but it is so rewarding. The difference you make to a young person’s life is the most amazing feeling.”

She strongly advises, “just dive in and do it! I wish I had done it sooner, when I was younger.” She stresses the crucial role of a good support network, emphasizing the vital connections built with other foster carers through area fun days, meals out, and joint training.

Thank you to Cheryl for sharing her story with us. We are fascinated and inspired by her story and how her life has adapted to fostering. 

There is a high demand for foster carers in the UK, as the number of local children coming into care continues to increase. If you have ever considered fostering or would like to learn more, please get in touch with Parallel Parents or visit our website. Whether you can offer a full-time home to a child or provide occasional respite and emergency fostering for just a few nights a year, your support can make a significant difference. We are here to provide you with all the information you need to take that first step toward changing a child's life.